Boys will be boys

By:Gurasees Gosal

Toxic masculinity is the expression used to describe the negative aspects that can result from masculine traits that are exaggerated or aggressive in nature. Toxic masculinity results from the notion that men can not openly express their emotions and must maintain a ‘tough guy’ attitude. It is a term that encourages men to have traits typically associated with tough men in a patriarchal society. Typical toxic masculinity traits include aggression, violence, ego, suppression of emotions, hyper competitiveness, chauvinism etc. a man that does not possess the aforementioned traits is said to not fall in the category of a ‘real man’ and his manhood is put in serious question. If a man possesses traits which are considered feminine he is said to have lost his manhood and is considered to be effeminate.

Manhood is considered a goal that must be achieved by all means. If a man lacks what is considered quintessential masculine traits he is said to be ‘weak’ or ‘feminine’. In today’s society toxic masculinity is still widely prevalent and can be seen in everyday life. Vulnerability shown by men is not openly welcomed even today. When a man cries he is seen as a weak person that lacks a strong manly attitude, this is a typical toxic masculinity example. The right to openly express our emotions is something that everyone must feel comfortable in doing irrespective of their gender.

Even when I was in school a common phrase used by teachers used to be ‘boys will be boys’. This phrase used to be said whenever a boy committed a mischievous act. Instead of reprimanding the student for his misbehavior, the indecent attitude is attributed to a typical characteristic of men. This is grossly wrong as young boys do not learn to owe up to their mistakes and fail to learn responsibility. Another commonly used phrase is ‘man up’. This phrase is used when a man does not suppress his emotions and shows vulnerability. Instead of allowing men to freely express their emotions , boys are taught that this is a trait which puts their manhood in jeopardy.

Toxic masculinity is extremely harmful as it limits the behavioral characteristics of men to what is acceptable by the patriarchal and archaic set up. Young boys grow up perceiving the world through these masculine traits that allow for a very narrow lens. This makes young boys think that they have to accommodate these traits within themselves or otherwise risk their reputation as ‘MEN’.